I am seriously toying with the idea of giving up my doctors and just getting my medical advice from the ads on television.
The people who are taking all these medicines seem so healthy. They are happy, have beautiful homes, and wonderful pets. I will need to get a pet and a frisbee and teach it to do all that jumping. I never had a pet that could do that! They are surrounded by people that love them and everybody smiles all the time. Don’t you see them kissing and holding hands? I want some of that!
My main thought in taking some of these wonderful pills, and even shots, is to keep me from getting any of those illnesses. If it’s a cure, it should be a great preventive. They could use the old adage, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” The drug company would sell more than saying, “Come on, take this pill even though you don’t need it.”
The only thing that makes me hesitate is the side effects. One listed far down the list: death. I want pills that keep me alive! I can handle getting dizzy, aches and pains, and weight gain. I already have all of that! A depression pill warns of suicide! Heaven’s sake! I thought that is why I was taking the pill. A little depression might keep me out of trouble.
I was thinking of getting some Airsupra, so I wouldn’t get asthma. But what is it with a dinosaur riding a bicycle with you in traffic? That would give me an asthma attack. Rethinking!
There’s Neuriva that improves memory and focus and is reported to be better than Prevagen. It can cause nausea, headaches, bloating and insomnia. That is what already messes with my memory and focus.
Well, I certainly don’t want to get Tardive Dyskinesia, but that’s a side effect from another drug I won’t be taking so I can forget Ingrezza. That’s a good thing because without major discount help it costs $10,000 for a thirty-day supply.
Maybe I should take Tremfva so I won’t get Crohn’s Disease or the “Heartbreak of Psoriasis.”
However, it does cause pain and can give you tuberculosis. But the ad says it makes you feel healthy and beautiful. I am sure that is true, just look at the happy, beautiful people taking it.
I could take Farxiga, a popular drug that helps control blood sugar so I won’t get diabetes.
It also keeps you from dying if you get a heart attack. Sounds good! Oops, it makes you dizzy when you stand up. I plan to do a lot of standing up! Have to stand up to walk or dance.
There’s Rinvoq that is taken for rheumatoid arthritis. That is a painful condition, so maybe I should take this medicine. Oh dear, it either is good for Ulcerated Colitis or causes Colitis. Can’t take that chance. Also, can cause shingles and blood clots.
All this information about side effects makes me so anxious—I think I better call my doctor for a nerve pill!