Have you ever played “What if?”
A favorite is, “What if our parents had never met?” There would be no us. End of column!
What if I had not had a brother? I would have avoided years of aggravation by putting up with a mischievous little brother. No live chicken let loose in the house to terrorize my friends. Nobody finding my hidden candy, or embarrassing me when I had a date. Yay! But I would have missed his strength and our love in his maturity and his great, growing family.
One of the big ones for me is what if I had not skipped part of second grade like the rest of my class? My friends would have been different my whole life. I would have been with kids I don’t know now. I would not have been part of a group of close buddies going to University of South Carolina together after we graduated high school together.
What if I had gone to Mount Berry College, a free work-your-way-through-college that Mother wanted me to attend? I would have been washing dishes for my room and board and hanging out with a bunch of hillbillies. I wanted to be in a sorority, and date guys that could dance and who had good haircuts.
What if I had never gotten a degree, but stayed at home and worked in an office or a department store? I would have never moved to Charlotte and worked as the program director for the YWCA. It was my first step to becoming a social worker and learning how to live independently and getting ready for the world and a long life.
These “What ifs” are making me nervous!
There are a number of “What ifs” in the marriage department. What if I had married my high school boyfriend who later became an alcoholic, or the boyfriend who died early in a car crash? What if I had married Gill, who was a Clemson engineer? Would he have taken me to Ohio? Glad that didn’t happen. Ohio has such poor weather.
What if I had married my big crush, John Chamberlain? He would have kept me happy and intrigued, but I would have had to live on Long Island. What if I had married my sweet Bill Goudelock who was later killed in Korea?
Another big “What if” for me is what if I had never moved to Blythewood?
In my forties, I found myself single again and living in an apartment. I owned a lot on Lake Murray and had inherited 28 acres in Blythewood from my father. I felt driven to stop renting and move to one of these properties. Living at the lake would require a long drive to work down I-26. Not an appealing thought!
The Blythewood acreage was in the middle of a forest, no amenities, and the nearest neighbor was a mile away. Not very appealing either.
But we can forget that “What if.”
Under some influence that I may tell you later, I chose Blythewood.
And I’ve always been very happy with my decision. Never a moment’s regret. These acres suit me, my Blythewood friends suit me. Blythewood suits me! No more “What if?” for me.
How about you?
Review your “What ifs” and see if you find your life happier than you expected, thoughtful and satisfying, with few or no decisions to regret… or at least happier than where you think the many “What ifs” would have led you.
Jeanette Smith, 95, a Blythewood resident, has been active in the community’s civic affairs for over 50 years.