I like shopping, I like men and I like the Internet. So what could be better than shopping for men on the Internet?
I worked on my “profile,” and included a pretty good picture of myself that was only a few years old.
I shop in the 70s and 80s pool and feel that any 80 year old who uses the computer, at least, has that going for him.
I quickly learned the code words that are used:
- “lonely” means I haven’t had a date in a long time
- “financially secure” means Don’t think I am just looking for money
- “I’m just a regular guy” means I don’t like theater or concerts and I never read a book
- “need to lose a few pounds” means I am overweight and have high blood pressure
- “I am affectionate and like to cuddle” means I want to have sex.
My first actual Internet contact was made with a nice local man named Bud whose code name was “Lonesome4U.” He had owned his own contracting business and was very proud of his home and what he had made of his life with little formal education. Being snobby about formal education, I was a little put off from the beginning. However, his redeeming grace was that he said he loved doing odd jobs around the house and yard and could fix anything. So, who cares about education anyway?
We talked a few times on the telephone and agreed to meet at an acceptable restaurant of his choosing. The meal went well, he looked OK, was polite and paid for my lunch. We made plans for him to come to my house the following week for lunch, do a few chores, and to watch a video. He did an outstanding job on my ailing irrigation system and a few other things. I fixed an adequate lunch and we moved to the den for a movie.
He did want to sit close and hold my hand big time. Testing, testing!
Unfortunately, at the time I had a very sore hand from carpal tunnel syndrome and when held for a while my hand would go numb and start a painful tingle. I had to keep rescuing my poor hand.
He called the next week and said that he felt that he was outclassed and that I seemed not to want him to touch me. Very perceptive of him and that was the end of Bud and me.
I corresponded on e-mail and talked on the phone with a nice sounding man who was touring the country in his RV and wanted to come to see me. He called himself “Happyman” on one service and “HappyandFun” on another one. After some bad weather and a series of engine repairs, “Happy” got so depressed that he called and said he was fed up and was going home to Texas.
I met another man who was nice enough, but he was so ugly he hurt my eyes. I hate to be so shallow, but I do have to protect my eyesight. He said lovely things to me and brought me presents. Alas! What is a girl to do?
Another man really was a planner. He was living in another state, but had carefully searched and selected Columbia to move to sometime within the year. In advance he was looking for a companion to be ready when the move occurred.
We talked about Columbia and I gave him information and suggestions. We finally met and had a pleasant lunch and I never heard from him again.
One of the nicest men I met would be a keeper for the right person. He also had owned his own company in the building trades in other parts of the country. He retired to his SC hometown and lived near relatives. After many long phone conversations, I actually let him come to my house for a first meeting. I usually don’t do that and don’t recommend it. He is an experienced wine maker and came to render my grape juice and help me make five gallons of wine.
Yahoo!
We had a nice day and several weeks later I went to see him and we had a wonderful day fishing on the prettiest river in South Carolina. He is a serious, very competent-type person who carries wounds from two previous disappointing marriages and alienated children.
He continues to look for a “kind-hearted, caring woman to share his life.” Distance and the fact that he is not my type keep us apart.
I wrote and talked at length with Fritz, a man who lived near Atlanta. He had a good education and told me that he was rich. On a trip I was making to Atlanta I agreed to meet him for lunch. I was going to be late reaching our meeting point, so, by cell phone, we agreed to meet at a filling station just off the interstate. He said he had already eaten but would like to show me his house and he would give me a sandwich. He had a bit of age on him and did seem genteel and safe enough. My time and options were running out so I agreed to follow him in my car. I followed him down a series of long country roads and was getting a little apprehensive but it was a beautiful area of upscale homes and grounds.
At least if I was assaulted and killed, it would be in a good neighborhood! By this time I was hungry and went on. I did make a call to a friend at home to tell her what I was doing and gave her his name and where I thought I was.
The short of the story is that he did indeed live in an almost-mansion. I was given a lackluster sandwich, but a super tour of his home and furnishings. I must admit I accepted a beer to settle my nerves and spent over an hour admiring the things money can buy. Too bad money had not bought him a better set of teeth.
Soon I was back on the road and calling my friend to release her from alert.
Fritz and I talked a little afterwards, but, as I thought about him, he was only his home and his possessions.
Another brief encounter was with Herman. We met at Starbucks for coffee and chatted pleasantly enough. He was rather heavy with some mobility problems.
As we prepared to depart he asked if I would like to have dinner sometime. I said yes, but told him he needed to know I liked to do other things than eat.
I should have been kinder, I realized as I skipped to my car!
I have seen a good many men only once, so I must not be as adorable as I thought! Some I would have seen again and others probably not.
Another chancy thing I did was invite Louis, a man I had been talking with from Charlotte, to take me to a dance. He wrote that he was a trained ballroom dancer and really loved to dance and was looking for a good partner. Come on down! He was a great dancer and fun to be with. He came down another time, but distance and no promise of romance dimmed our future.
Then there is my “sweetheart” from the Outback of Australia. He has phoned and written regularly about his life and about Australia and sent presents. We talk about books and movies and he loves to hear about the South. His picture looks like he stepped out of a Hollywood movie about Australia. O Lost!
Anyway.
Then there was Fred. We met for dinner, and he talked and I listened. He suggested we could speed up the process if I would spend a long weekend with him in his home, and then he would spend a long weekend with me to see if we were compatible. We weren’t.
He might have had better luck with me if he had not worn a safari suit with ankle boots in mid-July.
To summarize my online dating experiences, I would have to conclude that—in my age bracket — their “put caution to the wind” attitude is just not there anymore.
Jeanette Smith, 95, a Blythewood resident, has been active in the community’s civic affairs for over 50 years.